17 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating

It is an awful feeling to believe that your spouse is cheating on you. It can feel like your whole world is turning upside down, and everything you’ve worked so hard to build together is in jeopardy. If you have children, you may be naturally concerned about raising them and sheltering them from the truth. After all, infidelity can be hard to understand as an adult, much less as a child. 

But how can you know for sure that your spouse is cheating? What if it is all in your head? What if they try to convince you that it’s all in your head?

If your partner comes home late at night, refuses to talk about the future, and starts guarding their phone, they very well might be cheating. However, suspecting infidelity and proving it are two very different things.

First, you must know the signs of cheating to be on the lookout for suspicious behavior. Once you suspect that your spouse is cheating, you must get proof. This is difficult but not impossible in Florida, as long as you abide by the state’s privacy laws.

In Florida, however, you do not need proof of infidelity to file for a divorce. If your relationship has run its course or you believe your spouse is lying or trying to gaslight you, you can always leave the relationship. Sometimes, you just need to trust your gut and move on.

Signs That Your Spouse Is Cheating

Before you file for a divorce or plan a future without them, you might want to know for certain if they’re cheating on you. The first step is to recognize the signs of cheating.

#1 They’re Reluctant to Talk About the Future

In a healthy and committed relationship, discussing the future is natural. Whether planning a vacation, discussing career goals, or envisioning your life together in the years to come, these conversations help strengthen the bond between partners. However, if you notice that your spouse suddenly avoids discussions about the future, it can be a cause for concern.

Your spouse may not wish to engage in conversations about long-term goals. They may dodge questions about where the relationship is going or avoid making plans together. When this happens, it can leave you feeling disconnected.

While it’s essential to remember that there could be various reasons for their reluctance—stress, personal concerns, or changes in their priorities—it could also be a sign that your spouse is cheating. Even if you don’t have proof, do not dismiss your feelings. Emotional distance and secrecy can harm a relationship just as much as infidelity, so address these concerns quickly.

#2 They Guard Their Phone and Computer

Our smartphones and computers are an important part of our daily lives. They contain our personal information and help us communicate with friends, colleagues, and family members. If you notice your spouse becoming increasingly protective of their digital devices, it’s natural to wonder why.

One clear sign is when they start taking their phone everywhere, never leaving it out of their sight. You might notice that they start hiding their screens or quickly switching apps or browser tabs when you approach. This behavior can leave you feeling like they’re keeping something from you – like an affair.

Privacy is important, and everyone is entitled to it. However, there should also be trust and transparency in a committed relationship. If your spouse’s guarding of their digital devices is a significant departure from their usual behavior, it might be a sign of infidelity.

#3 They Show Decreased Affection and Intimacy

Physical affection and intimacy are crucial in any healthy marriage. So, noticing a significant decrease in affection can be a red flag.

One of the most obvious signs is when your spouse becomes distant or avoids physical contact altogether. They might pull away when you try to be affectionate or become less responsive to your emotional needs. It can leave you feeling unloved and disconnected and might signal they’re having an affair.

#4 They Have Frequent Overnight Trips and Work Late

If your spouse starts working late at the office or taking unexplained overnight trips, it can understandably raise some suspicions, especially if this behavior is out of the ordinary for them.

Late nights at work can be common due to heavy workloads or important projects, and they may sometimes be completely legitimate. However, if this becomes a consistent pattern and your spouse offers vague or inconsistent explanations, it’s natural for you to question what’s happening.

Lack of transparency about the purpose of these trips or with whom they spend time can lead to doubt and insecurity. It can be a sign of cheating, and you must trust your instincts if you suspect your partner isn’t being honest.

#5 They Begin Dressing Differently

Everyone changes over time. We don’t dress or act the same as we did when we were younger. However, if you notice your spouse making a sudden and noticeable shift in their appearance and clothing choices, it can cause alarm.

They might start dressing more formally when they used to be more casual or vice versa. Perhaps they’re paying more attention to fashion trends or experimenting with a new wardrobe style. This sudden transformation can leave you wondering what’s driving this change.

If your spouse starts dressing or grooming differently than before, it might be a sign that they’re cheating. However, it could also signal something far less sinister, such as a change in their confidence level or the influence of a new friend at work. Before jumping to conclusions, discuss your fears with your spouse.

#6 They Stop Filling You In On Their Life

Like many married couples, you likely come home from work and tell your spouse about your day. You might talk about what happened at your kid’s soccer practice and what funny videos you watched on Instagram that day. This is a great way to stay connected with your spouse and feel bonded, even when you’re not spending much time together. However, when your spouse suddenly stops sharing details of their life, it can raise some red flags.

There might be valid reasons behind this change, such as personal stress, work issues, or financial concerns. However, it’s also essential not to ignore your feelings because this shift could signal infidelity.

#7 They Have New Hobbies and Interests

In any long-term relationship, couples naturally evolve and develop new interests and hobbies. It is a healthy way for people to grow and explore their passions. However, when your spouse suddenly immerses themselves in new hobbies or interests, it can raise questions, and you might wonder who they’re enjoying these new hobbies with!

If you find that these new pursuits lead to increased time away from the relationship or a decrease in the quality time you spend together, it can be a cause for concern. Unfortunately, it could also be a sign that your spouse is cheating.

#8 They Seem Irritable or Defensive

Partners should feel comfortable discussing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. So, when you notice your spouse becoming increasingly irritable or defensive, it’s a sign that something might be wrong. It could also signal that they’re guilty about something, such as having an affair or cheating.

While it’s crucial to remember that irritability and defensiveness can result from work pressures or personal struggles, it’s also essential not to ignore these changes. Sometimes, these behaviors can be a defense mechanism to avoid addressing underlying issues within the relationship, such as guilt or secrets.

#9 They Avoid Eye Contact

Couples often maintain eye contact during conversations because it is an intimate and effective communication method. So, it can raise red flags when you notice your spouse actively avoiding eye contact or steering clear of conversations related to your relationship.

Avoiding eye contact is a non-verbal signal that someone feels uncomfortable, anxious, or guilty and potentially hiding something. When your spouse consistently avoids looking you in the eyes during conversations, it can be a sign that your spouse is cheating.

#10 They Neglect Responsibilities at Home

In any marriage, household responsibilities, such as childcare, chores, and finances, are often shared between spouses. If your spouse starts neglecting these responsibilities, it may be because their mind and heart are elsewhere. This could be a sign of infidelity.

Your spouse might become increasingly disinterested in contributing to household chores, leaving you to shoulder the burden on your own. They might be less present in parenting duties or neglecting their financial responsibilities, like bills and budgeting.

This shift in behavior can lead to feelings of frustration, imbalance, and even resentment in the relationship. While it could be a sign of cheating, it might mean they’re depressed, overworked, or anxious about the future. Have a conversation with them about your concerns and fears.

#11 They Give Lavish Gifts

If your spouse suddenly starts showering you with lavish and extravagant gifts, it might make you feel a bit uneasy. While receiving gifts can be a wonderful experience, a sudden excess of expensive presents may trigger suspicion.

Did your spouse suddenly give you expensive jewelry, gadgets, or other luxury items seemingly out of the blue? If so, it can leave you wondering about the motivations behind these gifts and whether there’s more to the story.

Now, it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Giving gifts can be a genuine expression of love or a way to make amends for something. However, it could be a sign of cheating.

#12 You Notice Suspicious Social Media Activity

Social media has become an integral part of our lives, and it can play a significant role in relationships. So, when you begin to notice your spouse engaging in suspicious social media activity, it can make you worried.

Suspicious activity may include increasing private messages with someone you don’t know, excessive liking or commenting on someone else’s posts, or sharing intimate or secretive content online. These actions can be unsettling, especially if they’re out of character for your spouse.

While it’s important to respect each other’s privacy, it’s also crucial to maintain transparency and trust in a relationship. If you notice these signs, it could be a sign that your spouse is hiding something.

#13 They Frequently Change Their Passwords

Trust and transparency are essential, even when it comes to online security. So, when you notice your spouse frequently changing their passwords, you might wonder what they’re hiding from you. This behavior can manifest as password changes for their email accounts, social media profiles, or other digital platforms.

Frequent password changes suggest a desire to keep certain information hidden or a feeling of increased privacy. While individuals need to maintain online security, these changes can lead to questions about trust within the relationship. It can also signal that your spouse is cheating on you.

#14 They’re Constantly Texting

If your spouse begins constantly texting and seems overly preoccupied with their phone, it could be a sign that they’re having an affair. This sign may manifest as your spouse always being glued to their phone or quickly hiding their screen when you approach.

Excessive texting, especially when they’re secretive about the content or the person they’re communicating with, can lead to feelings of suspicion and insecurity. If your spouse has nothing to hide, they should be willing to discuss their text conversations and friendships with you openly. If they refuse, it should be a major red flag that something else is going on.

#15 You Find Unexplained Credit Card Charges

Financial transparency is a crucial aspect of a healthy partnership. If you discover unexplained or suspicious credit card charges, it’s natural to be concerned. These charges may include expenditures on items or services you were unaware of or that seem out of the ordinary.

Unexplained credit card charges can mean that your spouse is hiding something, spending money on someone else, and cheating.

Talk with your spouse about the unexpected charges, expressing your feelings and concerns. Ask them to clarify the reasons behind these expenses.

#16 They Begin to Pick Fights

A sudden increase in arguments and conflicts within a relationship can signify underlying tension or unhappiness. When your spouse starts picking fights or creating unnecessary disagreements, it can be a way to create emotional distance or justify their behavior.

Even if your spouse is not cheating, this behavior change can be emotionally taxing and can erode your relationship.

#17 You Have a Gut Feeling

Sometimes, you have a persistent gut feeling that something is wrong in your relationship. It is important to pay attention to your instincts. Your intuition can be a valuable tool for recognizing potential issues within your partnership or cheating patterns.

If your gut tells you that your spouse is cheating, try talking with your spouse about your feelings and concerns. In addition, you can share your suspicions with a trusted counselor or therapist and obtain guidance on how to proceed.

While these 17 signs could be indicators that your spouse is cheating, they should not be taken as conclusive evidence of infidelity. Open, honest, and empathetic communication is the best way to address any concerns you may have in your relationship.

Real-Life Stories of Spouses Caught Cheating

If you’re suspicious that your spouse is cheating, you’re not alone. Over 46% of people in monogamous relationships said they had affairs. How do you know if your relationship is one of those statistics?

Unfortunately, suspicions can become a reality – as evident in these real-life stories of spouses caught cheating!

Caught by Text

• One woman caught her husband cheating when he left his phone on the counter to charge overnight. When his wife was in the kitchen, a message saying, “ I love you too,” came across his screen. Needless to say, she confronted him right away and found out he’d been having an affair for two years. The “other woman” didn’t even know he was married!
• One woman’s husband kept having to “run back to work” for something. She believed him for a very long time. One night, he returned to work to grab something and accidentally took her phone instead of his. His girlfriend texted him, “ Did your wife leave yet?” and she knew he was cheating.
• One husband dated a girl who was colleagues with a close friend of his wife. One day, she was showing off pics of her new boyfriend to people in the office, and his wife’s friend saw who it was. She broke the news to his wife immediately!

Gaslighting Spouses

• One wife found mysterious charges on their joint credit card to a florist. She never received flowers, so she questioned her husband. He tried to lie by telling her he bought them for her, but she was being difficult that night, so he trashed them. The next month, she received a phone bill that showed 265 outgoing calls to a single unknown number. That’s when she knew he was cheating on her. Later, she found a secret burner phone and a work cell she didn’t know about.
• One woman found out her husband was cheating when her son found nude photos on his dad’s phone. She found out he was sending them to his ex, whom he’d recently reconnected with on Facebook. She screenshotted everything and then confronted him. He tried to gaslight her about everything and even told her he would get custody of their son if she left him. She posted every nude photo on Facebook and tagged him and his family in each public post before she divorced him.

Caught Red Handed

• One cheating husband took his girlfriend out in his wife’s car. He got pulled over by the cops, and they called his wife and told her where he was.
• One woman caught her husband cheating when an undercover cop arrested him for sending nude pics to a 14-year-old girl.

Ways to Catch Your Spouse Cheating

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, please know it is NOT your fault. Infidelity results from low self-esteem, trauma, fear, and even patterns learned as a kid. But before you make any rash decisions, take a moment to calm yourself and plan your next move.

Maybe you noticed several of the tell-tale signs that your spouse is cheating. Maybe you’ve confronted them, and they’ve denied it or told you it was all in your head. You deserve to know the truth, and there are ways you can catch your spouse cheating and put your mind to rest once and for all.

#1 Hire a Private Investigator

The best way to catch your spouse cheating is to hire a private investigator. They’re trained in ways to identify and catch cheating spouses. They know how to dig up the information without getting caught. They’ll even snap pictures and gather evidence for you to use during your divorce.

While hiring a private investigator is a bit pricey, it’s a surefire way to know if your spouse is having an affair.

#2 Do Some Online Digging

Sometimes, all it takes is a little sleuthing on your own. Look through credit card receipts and see if you notice a spending pattern. Do they visit the same restaurant weekly? Do they get gas in a particular part of town? You can then investigate those areas online, highlighting neighborhoods where their lover may live.

Your next task is to go onto their social media accounts and search for “friends” or “followers” who live in those areas. Many individuals do not have privacy settings turned on, so you’d be surprised what you can uncover with a little digging.

If that sleuthing doesn’t yield results, you can do online searches for other accounts they may have, such as dating app profiles or hidden Facebook accounts. This can lead you to a treasure trove of information about their secret life. Just be prepared for what you might find.

#3 Drop By Unannounced

Start dropping by unannounced. If they say they’re working late, head to the office to meet them. Consider surprising them at the hotel if they’re away on a business trip. Do it genuinely and make it a surprise.

While this may lead to a very uncomfortable confrontation with their mistress, it is better to know the truth than to continue to live a lie. If your spouse is not cheating, they’ll be happy to see you! If they’re angry, you showed up to surprise them; that should be a red flag that something is going on.

Can I Spy On My Cheating Spouse in Florida?

You’re likely wondering if you can spy on your spouse, record their conversations, or put a tracking device on their car. Florida has unique laws that protect individuals and their privacy. In some cases, doing so might break the law.

Recording a Conversation

In the state of Florida, all parties involved in a private conversation must consent to the recording of that conversation, with few exceptions. If the conversation happens in a public place, you might be able to record the conversation legally.

Florida statute 934.03 makes it a 3rd-degree felony to record someone illegally. Each illegal audio recording is a felony, so be careful when thinking about recording your ex. If you record three separate phone conversations between him and his mistress, you might face three felonies on your record. Additionally, sharing that recording is a felony.

Installing a Tracking Device

You might want to reconsider before you throw an Apple Air Tag or tracking device in your spouse’s car. In 2015, Florida statute 934.425 made it illegal to install a tracking device or tracking device application on another person’s property without their consent. If you violate this law, you could face charges of a misdemeanor of the second degree.

If you legally own the car with your spouse, there might be some gray area to fight these charges. However, it isn’t worth the risk. Rather than facing jail time, consider talking to an attorney or a private investigator about your next steps.

Spying On Your Spouse

If you’re looking for proof that your spouse is cheating, you may be tempted to spy on them. Before you break out the binoculars, many forms of spying are illegal in Florida. Florida Statute 784.048 states that you can be charged with “stalking” your spouse if you repeatedly harass or follow them.

Hacking your spouse’s emails or social media accounts is also illegal. Checking public records for accounts or viewing public profiles is not illegal. However, hacking into them by “guessing” the password or gaining access is against the law.

Talk to a family law attorney before you take matters into your own hands. Even if you’re not ready to file for divorce, your attorney can help you plan the next steps. When you meet with a family lawyer in Florida, they can review your situation and legally obtain information about your spouse.

I Caught My Spouse Cheating – Now What?

If you’ve caught your spouse cheating, you may feel angry, lost, and confused. Do you leave them or forgive them? Do you call an attorney or head to a marriage counselor? The answer lies within you; only you can decide what to do next.

It is natural to feel hurt, angry, and scared after you find out that your spouse is cheating. After all, you spent years building a life and planning for a future together. Before taking action, allow yourself to feel and process these emotions.

Even though you may not want to, have a hard conversation with your spouse about what you’ve discovered. Your spouse might deny these allegations or confess to what they did. How they handle this conversation might affect your willingness to save your marriage.

During this conversation, try to understand the reasons behind the infidelity. and whether it was a one-time mistake or an ongoing affair. If it was an ongoing affair or your spouse is in love with someone else, you might decide to end the marriage. However, if it was a one-time mistake, you might feel like you can rebuild the trust together. This conversation is critical to helping you choose the best path forward.

If you are uncertain what to do next or wish to save the marriage, consider couples or individual therapy for you and your spouse. A trained therapist can help you navigate your feelings and rebuild trust in your relationship. A counselor can also help you and your spouse take stock of your marriage and determine if it’s time to go your separate ways.

After catching your spouse cheating, now is the time to take a step back and assess whether your marriage is worth saving. Consider the overall health of your marriage, the history you share, whether children are involved, and if you and your spouse are willing to put in the effort required to rebuild trust.

You must prioritize your happiness and future during this time. Not every marriage can overcome infidelity. Sometimes it is irretrievably broken. If you believe ending the relationship is the best choice, consult a Florida family law attorney to take steps to protect your financial and emotional interests. Your lawyer will guide you through the legal process and help you explore your legal options.

Remember that every situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with infidelity. Seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor can be invaluable in helping you navigate the complexities of your specific circumstances and make the best decisions for your future.